Zoltars new Clothes
by Kondoru
Summary: The Chosen One has some very odd tastes in clothing. Surprising taste warning...not bad, just surprising....
1. Chapter 1

ZOLTARS NEW CLOTHES by Kondoru

Standard disclaimers.

Surprising taste warning; Not bad, just surprising.

Dedicated to my good friend D, who does this sort of thing. He has an electric guitar and a motorbike...would we all be as cool as him when we are 56!

Thanks to JP for Betaing. (He is not a Gatch fan but does like SF and appreciate my warped sense of humour.)

It was a very hot day. The Spectran summer was at its height. But this was a record-breaking day.

Everyone was complaining about the heat. That and finding excuses to go to the beach instead of work.

Zoltar, the Chosen Ruler of Spectra was relaxing in his apartments in the fortress of the Luminous One. He had very little work to do. Review a few reports, that was all. It was now midday. By now his Holy Master should have called him into his chambers for instructing. The Great One had not, and so Zoltar knew he could take the rest of the day off. But what to do?

It was a fine day, he would go jogging. Zoltar paused; It was too fine a day. Hot and uncomfortable. Zoltar decided to wear as little as possible.

But he couldn't run round naked, could he? -Or could he?

Zoltar hit upon an idea. He started rummaging in the cupboard where his painting things were. Zoltar was a keen amateur painter, and technical drawer. He had worked on the design of several mechs. Zoltar found a big can of black poster paint and selecting a big brush took them back to his tiring room.

Soon all his clothes were off, Zoltar wore just his watch, in actually a wrist computer which contained such useful things as the electronic keys to all sorts of places, including the mech hangar, it also had electronic currency details, if he went shopping he did not have to take his wallet. The other item that he wore was his blue eternal flame on a chain round his neck. This was a more arcane item, used by the Spirit to keep track of and communicate with Zoltar in a way only He could. Zoltar had never taken it off since his early teens. It was the symbol of his Chosen status and the too beautiful Spectran would sooner have parted with his fingers than the eternal flame. He wasn't sure if he could remove it anyway.

After tying his genitals back, he painted a big pair of black shorts on his bare behind. Zoltar admired himself in the full length mirror. Wasn't he the pretty boy? His deception was almost perfect, you could see he was naked if you were close, but Zoltar knew from experience that most people would not look that hard.

Zoltar put on his big sunhat over his tied up hair, trainers on his feet; he rubbed all his exposed skin with sun cream. Zoltar had once gone out without such protection when a very little boy, and ended up with badly burnt skin. He had been careful from then on.

Ready for anything he descended in the lifts and sallied out the front gates. The Temple Guards waved cheerily at him. Though observant men, they had not noticed his deception.

Zoltar took the scenic route, down the back streets to the river and following it to the park. It was a little cooler than going round the winding back alleys; Another favourite trip of Zoltars. Still hot though. 

Zoltar was sweating, he decided to take a route though the Market. This would be a longer trip but in the safety of an air-conditioned precinct.

Zoltar jogged though the shopping centre; no one took the slightest bit of notice. It was crowded. Everyone was inside out of the sun. He was beginning to think that he had made a bad decision; When who should he bump into but his very own twin sister, Mala Latrois? (Zoltar, of course, was a Latrois, but he had long ago given up all right to a family name when he had been Chosen. He still used it occasionally though, at times when he wanted to annoy the Latrois clan.)

Mala was out spending the publics money on clothes, with her were her two henchgirls, Alisha and Noren.

"Zoltar!" She called. Zoltar had to stop.

"Hello, Mala, hello girls." Zoltar replied non-commitally. "And what are you doing?"

"I'm buying new clothes so my transvestite brother can steal them." Mala replied without a smile. Her henchgirls sniggered; Mala quelled them with a nasty stare.

"I will leave you to it."

"Yes, you leave me." Mala stared at him. "Zoltar has no taste in clothes; This is why he has me dress him." She explained to her gun-toting cronies. They grinned.

"What are you looking at, dear sister?" Zoltar asked innocently.

"Zoltar, if you get paint all over the bathroom, I'll kill you."

"Paint? What do you mean by paint?" Protested Zoltar.

"You know!" And she turned on her heel.


	2. Chapter 2

ZOLTARS NEW CLOTHES (PART TWO) by Kondoru

Standard disclaimers.

Surprising taste warning; Not bad, just surprising.

Yes, there is more of this kack.

With apologies to the memory of my late Grandmother, who went though life known erroneously as Josephine.

Thanks to JP for Betaing. (He is not a Gatch fan but does like SF and appreciate my warped sense of humour.)

"We're going skinny dipping, are you coming?" Asked Neville the Mech Captain the next morning.

Zoltar paused. "Yes, That is a good idea." He still had not heard from the Spirit...Perhaps his Master was suffering from the heat wave too? Zoltar smiled at the idea of an energy being getting too hot. He had not seen Mala either. She had an apartment in the Great One fortress too. But she seldom used it, preferring to stay with the boyfriend-of-the-hour or on the Devil Star base with her cronies.

He got out his towels and sun hat. Not to mention a supply of waterproof sun cream. Neville's car was waiting outside.

A couple of Neville's friends were also in the car, and it was a tight squeeze. But Zoltar did not mind. He was glad to have the distraction of his men's small talk. They drove out of the city and down winding country lanes, to a field by the river. Willow trees shaded it, and metal gleamed amid the dappled sunlight.

The BlackHawks and Devil Stars had parked their bikes any old how, and by the looks of things, undressed in the same random manner. the field was strewn with biker jackets, helmets and skimpy underwear

Pretty much all the elites were playing in the river splashing each other, ducking, fighting. Zoltar sighed. There were not many of them. Their numbers had been weeded out by G Force. He put that melancholy thought away and began to undress.

"Hiya Zoltar!" Called a red headed Devil Star. "Glad you are able to join us."

"I can put the work off for now! It's so damn hot here."

"Cool down with us then" the red head was joined by another Devil Star, she smiled as if to suggest she had a novel way to get Zoltar even hotter.

Zoltar ignored this teasing. He looked around. He was looking for one face in particular, -A face very much like his own.

"Mala not here?" He asked a BlackHawk who was pulling off his motorcycle boots.

The BlackHawk shrugged, "she said she was busy this afternoon. I think she's too proud to come and play with us."

"I am not too proud."

"Glad to see your not" The Hawk removed his socks and stood up.

Zoltar got undressed. He unbound his long hair and strode down the waters edge.

No sooner than he had entered the water than a Devil Star grabbed him by the hair and pulled him down. Zoltar came up sputtering. Everyone was laughing at him. He had to do something. Zoltar pushed his attacker down. "Take that!"

She jumped back up again to the cheers of the other swimmers.

"We are even now" Zoltar smiled.

In reply she splashed him enthusiastically. Zoltar splashed back then sank down upon his belly, grabbing at her ankles. The Devil Star stepped back, tripped, and was in the water with a massive splash.

"Ha!" Laughed Zoltar and dived on top of her.

The girl's name was Jocelyn, that he knew. Her delicately scarred form had graced the pages of the governmental employee's calendar for the past three years. Unlike many a Federation pinup, she had very small breasts, but overall she was shapely, and a product of nature rather than the surgeon, an asset in a world where so many things were artificially enhanced.

All seemed to be going well, and Zoltar was seriously considering taking Jocelyn for a trip into the bushes for a detailed discourse on classified matters. Jocelyn kissed him, running her fingers though his luxuriant tresses. Zoltar smirked. 

She put her hands in a more intimate zone, pulling back suddenly to look at her blackened palms in horror; "Paint!" She squealed.

"Paint! Oh my!" Zoltar grinned.

Jocelyn rubbed her hands off on his hair and retreated. Zoltar huffed and sighed, looked like he had been beat by the goalie...Again.

Zoltar stayed in the water until he felt hungry. His elite had brought along barbecues and plenty of food. He would not have to go home for a meal. He left off his swimming and stepped out, long hair streaming water. Zoltar shivered, it was getting cooler. Some of the swimmers sat around still naked. He decided to be a wimp and reached for his towel.

Nobody dared comment when Zoltar dried off and after getting his paint pot out of his bag, started to re apply his faux shorts.

Jocelyn grinned feraly at him. "Government cutbacks. Zoltar can no longer afford any underwear."

"Funny Stuff" growled the Chosen one.

And that, was that.


	3. Chapter 3

ZOLTARS NEW CLOTHES (PART THREE) by Kondoru

Standard disclaimers.

Surprising taste warning; Not bad, just surprising.

Thanks to JP for Betaing. (He is not a Gatch fan but does like SF and appreciate my warped sense of humour.)

Mala had decided to put a stop to her brothers naked (sic) exhibitionism. She did not like the idea of her sibling exposing himself in front of young children, old ladies, slaves and offworlders; All of who would love the chance to stare.

The Captain of the Devil Stars picked up the phone and called the police. She told them that a man had been seen running around in the City centre. Completely naked.

Zoltar was sat on the precinct bench. He was hot and tired.

The police officer was a lot more observant than the average citizen was. He could see that his subjects neat black pants were painted on, what an interesting case!

"Could I see your ID, please?" He asked Zoltar politely.

Zoltar held out his hand. He had a Government ID chip implanted in his palm. The officer ran his scanner over it and went pale.

"Do not you know me? I am the Chosen One."

"My apologies, Sire." Stammered the policeman.

"Now just what was it you interrupted my rest for?" Asked Zoltar disdainfully.

The policeman used his head rapidly and acted sensibly. He quickly escorted the naked Chosen to a clothes shop and stood over him while he purchased a pair of shorts.

Mala had been watching the action though a remote spy device. She sighed. This was not her day. If the police had done nothing she would have been able to call out the temple guard and have Zoltar arrested on a charge of heresy. But he had defused the situation with a degree of neatness Mala wished her own girls would display. No, there was only one thing for it.

Instead she told the Luminous One.

"I WILL HAVE A WORD WITH HIM AS SOON AS HE RETURNS" The Spirit replied after patiently listening to Malas tirade about dress standards. What was the matter? Why, for that matter, did it concern Him?

When Zoltar got back from his run he was met by one of the temple functionaries. "The Great One wishes to see you." He bowed deeply, his blue silk robe brushing the tiled floor.

"What does He want now?"

"He says its urgent" added the lackey.

Zoltar headed off to the Spirits antechamber. "No changing into uniform...never mind about that!" Growled Zoltar.

Soon he stood before his alien Master.

The Most Radiant Ones eyesight was not very good, at least in the visible light spectrum. His senses were geared more towards the further end of the spectrum, but he did have cameras.

"I SEE YOU ARE NOT IN UNIFORM."

"It is my day off" snarled Zoltar indignantly. "I do not wear my mask off duty."

"MALA INFORMED ME THAT YOU ARE GOING AROUND IN YOUR, I QUOTE; BIRTH SUIT; I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS."

The Great Light of Wisdom had not fully understood what Mala was getting at Zoltar had committed some misdemeanour, in public too, but as far as his esoteric master could see, nothing was wrong. But He did trust the Devil star Captains judgement.

"I AM NOT HAPPY WITH YOUR BEHAVIOUR, ZOLTAR." The Mighty Spirit told him firmly. "I SUGGEST YOU GO DOWN TO THE PENITENTS CELLS AND MEDITATE FOR A WHILE."

"But I have done nothing wrong!" Protested Zoltar. Perhaps his Master was cranky with the heat too?

"NO BUTS. I WILL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING." The Mighty Spirit flickered and vanished.

Zoltar knew a dismissal when he heard one. He stomped out, muttering under his breath.

Later on Zoltar was sat on the bunk in the penitents cell. Not a brilliant place to spend the rest of the day. The irony was that he was at last cool here.

-------------------------------

"My sister must be at the bottom of this." Growled Zoltar.

The Luminous One thought for a bit. He really would have to ask Mala one thing. What exactly was a birth suit?


	4. Chapter 4

ZOLTARS NEW CLOTHES (EPILOGUE) by Kondoru

Standard disclaimers.

Surprising taste warning; Not bad, just surprising.

Thanks to JP for Betaing. (He is not a Gatch fan but does like SF and appreciate my warped sense of humour.)

"Do you like my new bikini?" Mala asked her twin a few days later.

Zoltar looked up from the latest mech design he was drawing. "Very nice."

"Is that all you have to say?" Mala arched an eyebrow. It was evident that the Devil Star Captain had been at Zoltars black paint.

"It is nice." He repeated. "Can I borrow it when you have finished with it?"

Mala threw her underarm holster, which was hung on the hook by the door, at her brother, he ducked. She stomped out.

"Are you sure it is waterproof?" He called after her cheerily.

"It's not like its going to rain!" Came Malas voice from down the passage.

Zoltar went back to his drawing; he smiled evilly to himself. He had two of his men armed with powerful water pistols stationed round the corner...


End file.
